I closed my eyes around 12:45am last night. 45 minutes later, Jack woke up. We were up, battling the sleep gods, until 5:15am.
I'm so tired. Jack is wiped. I'm sure over in Caribou Coffee Land, Bob drinks his 18th espresso shot.
Coffee poured is false hope. A nap will not suffice. My to-do list mocks me.
I proclaim today to be a bust. National Delirium Day! I intend to embrace and celebrate the pain. If we can survive today, think of what other parental feats we can overcome tomorrow. Fellow parents, time to rally and mold this exhaustion into delusions of awesomeness. Hallucinations bring happiness. For all you naysayers out there: Look, your cat just vomited gold! Watching "Team Umizoomi" everyday will award you a PhD in astrophysics! You can build a robot out of cardboard boxes that cleans house, changes diapers and tap dances! Nic Cage is the best actor ever! (Oh wait, that last one we believe when we're alert).
Just sit back and let the exhaustion work FOR you.
Sleep is for sissies. I prefer to lose my mental faculties and rock the unrest. Bring it.
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