Forum to Vent

After seven months of unchecked emotions driving my husband (and myself) crazy, I realized that I needed a spot to expunge my worry, to challenge my fears, celebrate our victories and connect with a community. You see, my son, Jack got an autism diagnosis last November. Although some days I suit up in armor and plow through the hours seemingly unscathed, it's the quiet hours when my husband is working and my mind starts wandering that raw, debilitating sadness and anger filters its way through. And I'm exhausted. Something needs to change, or I'm going to lose my marbles.

Hello, my name is Rebecca. Mother of Jack. Wife of Bob. Singer, teacher and spokesmodel for anxiety. I'm a list maker...a girl attached to a calendar...someone who likes to have a plan and expects particular, rational results. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the unexpected on occasion but not when it comes downs to the Big F - my family. Now, we walk aimlessly through a fog with no map, no flashlight, no tour guide...only our intuition - sorting through uncertain behavioral and biomedical therapies, waiting for uncertain results, heading toward an uncertain future. Nothing is certain except our love for our beautiful, happy son.

Trust me, folks, he is gorgeous. And happy. And smart. Here he is now...

Cute, right? He's an easy-going dude who loves books (even if he does bite off the corners), music, water play, technology and general tom foolery. He's overwhelmed by sensory processing issues and needs a lot of vestibular, tactile, oral, auditory and visual stimulation. His perfect day would be running around the house with his tiny electric guitar, spinning in his living room swing, visiting the local splash park, reading "The Cat in the Hat" eighty times and eating sweet potato fries for every meal. There are many things about him we "get" now that we didn't know pre-diagnosis, but man, what would it be like to step behind those eyes and run with those little legs to experience, first hand, how he unravels the world.

So, here it is. The beginning of our story. A journey through bumpy terrain. I'm hoping that this forum will provide some solace to our family and others traveling down a similar road.